As part of our Know Peace Online campaign, we’re exploring the deeper connections between online behavior and real-world community. Communication doesn’t happen in a vacuum—someone is at the receiving end of every post. That’s why this week’s focus is “Know Your Audience.” Considering who will be helped or harmed by what we share is a vital step toward building a more just and compassionate digital culture.
I’m a millennial, which means I’m old enough to remember when the internet was new—and young enough to have lived much of my life online.
As a result, I carry a certain nostalgia for some of the earliest online communities, particularly AOL Instant Messenger. This chat app allowed users to converse in real time. It also had a unique feature: the away message.
These were the precursors to today’s social media status updates. They were a way to communicate your availability (“BRB… mom needs to use the computer”), but they quickly evolved into something more. Away messages were a space for signaling—through song lyrics, quotes, or inside jokes. These subtle, meticulously crafted messages were often intended for an audience of one—a best friend or a crush. If you knew how to read them, they offered tiny windows into my high school’s unfolding drama. A budding romance or an impending breakup? If you were really good, you could spot it well before it was made official.
It was one of my earliest lessons in understanding audiences, both intended and unintended.
In many areas of life, the line between message and audience is clear. You might tell a story one way to your mom, and a totally different way to a friend. A presentation to your boss differs from an email to a professor or a text to your sibling. Even when you’re sharing the same basic facts, you tailor the message to the receiver.
Social media breaks that mold. It gives each of us a platform—and a much wider audience than we once had. That reach is exciting, but also a double-edged sword. Each time we post, our words may reach people we didn’t intend, often without the context that might soften or clarify a “hot take.”
Most of us have either seen or posted something that didn’t land the way we hoped. It’s probably not your intention to cause harm, especially among a community of friends, family, and colleagues. But our digital footprints can travel far.
Here are a few principles I try to keep in mind before I hit “post”:
- Think about your intended—and unintended—audiences. Would you be comfortable with your grandmother seeing this? Your boss? Your kids?
- Ask yourself: Am I adding anything worthwhile? Do I have something new or interesting to say, or am I just adding to the doom cycle or reinforcing my echo-chamber?
- Check your sources: Not every TikTok or infographic has been fact-checked. Think twice before sharing something that might spread misinformation. Read more in the #KnowPeace pillar #KnowYourFacts
- Consider how your content might travel. As posts go viral, they often lose their original context. If this post were shared without it’s caption, or cropped in a new way, would you still stand by it?
- Practice persuasive empathy. Emotions can run high in the comments. Before you fire back, try offering grace. Research shows people resist change when confronted aggressively. Strive to speak your truth without tearing someone else down.
- Target your message. Social media offers tools to control your audience. Use “Close Friends” settings or custom lists when a message is truly meant for a specific group.
The Know Peace Online campaign, led by the United Church of Christ Media Justice Ministry, is an opportunity for all of us to make our online spaces a little kinder through individual actions. We can each take responsibility for what we put out into the world.
Jessie Palatucci, our current UCC Media Justice board chair, is the Director of Digital Strategy at the Trust for Public Land. In that capacity, she works with a team of channel experts to manage TPL’s web, social, digital advocacy, and email programs. Prior to joining TPL, Jessie spent more than 15 years working in the D.C. interfaith advocacy community. Join Jessie in taking the Know Peace Online pledge today.